If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
