Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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