i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
