I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Too much gin, very little bucket
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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