My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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