Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
