ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize