the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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