Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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