his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
