This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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