I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
