i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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