this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
