It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
