i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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