i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
