you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
