Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
