i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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