i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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