I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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