I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
