we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
