First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I looked at my own cervix.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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