kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
