He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
