I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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