he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
