she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
