epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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