How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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