He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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