I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
