wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
