Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
