do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
