so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
