Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
