I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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