I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
