my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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