Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Drunk is not a location!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
