you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
