its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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