I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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