no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
