Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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