Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
