i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
