Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
